Our 3 Embryos

We have 3 embryos!!! As I type this, our three little embryos are frozen in our clinic and their biopsied cells are being sent to Natera (a laboratory in California) for genetic testing. We have one 5AB embryo and two 5BB embryos. All three are considered really good quality as of now. I’m still learning about the grading process that is utilized by embryologists to assess for the quality and likelihood of implantation. From what I’ve gathered so far, the number ‘5’ defines how far ‘hatched’ the embryo is. ‘5’ is our clinic’s goal because that means that it has reached the ‘blastocyst’ stage of development and has increased odds of implantation. The first letter has to do with the inner cell mass of the embryo (what will become a baby!) and the gradings are ‘A, B, C, or D’. An ‘A’ grading is considered the ‘best.’ The second letter represents the placenta with a similar ‘A’ through ‘D’ rating. ‘A’ is again the ‘best.’

This means that 3 our of our 5 embryos that were successfully fertilized a week ago made it through to a critical stage of development and appear very promising! Our next step will require 10 days of waiting as the biopsied cells are analyzed and results sent back to our clinic to inform us about the overall quality of the embryo. I do not know what the odds are that embryos with our grading do not pass the genetic screening portion of this process, nor do I need to tempt myself with Dr. Google to find out. Ok, I might hit up Dr. Google once or twice before the 10 days are up. Can’t help myself sometimes. I’m sure I will ask our nurse. I know I will not get definitive answers. All we can do is wait. So much of what we do…is waiting. This wait is worth it to me because this screen will allow us to choose the highest quality embryo with all of the components necessary for implantation. We chose to do this screen to decrease our chances of going through a miscarriage because even highly graded embryos may contain something that’s not ‘genetically healthy’ about them that would cause miscarriage and/or failure of my body to receive the embryo. On the flip side, it is also possible for a highly graded embryo that has been deemed genetically healthy to not implant and/or end in miscarriage. It’s a crapshoot-ish. But, it makes me feel better to screen for as much as possible to give my body and our embryo the best chance for success.

Enough about the business side of this…I am so happy right now. It is true that the pain, loss, struggle, sacrifice, and endurance we’ve had to command to get to this moment makes it all the sweeter. Also, I am aware that my elation is thinly laced with the knowledge that it might not work out. Our embryos might all be genetically unhealthy. We may only have two of the three to utilize and both could end in miscarriage…and then we’d have to start over. Still, I feel connected to our 3 embryos and I continue to send them all the love from every fiber of my being. They are special to me, suddenly. My mother brought me three long-stemmed roses the color of soft snow. Those three angelic blooms sit on our console table as a reminder of how tangible and alive hope truly is. And I do. Have so much hope for our embryos, that is. I feel braver than ever and I want to wrap my courage around them and envelop every cell with the warmth from my heart. Maybe they will absorb it and assume it as their own. I want them to feel the promise of our love and trust that I will offer them everything I have, I will be a safe and abiding home.

*I am grateful that we were able to make 3 embryos. No matter the outcome, it feels encouraging to know we do that small, yet miraculous thing.