I’ve become a semi-regular, a ‘tweener’ to a club I never intended to join. I know this to be true because today I almost went to the beverage stand at our fertility center to grab a cup of water. And I found myself irritated that someone was sitting in ‘my spot’ in the waiting room. […]
It is The Week Before. Six weeks ago when I intentionally, but tearfully decided with my husband to pursue IVF and set the date for Mid-March 2017, I wondered how I would be doing The Week Before. How am I doing? Well…I am not entirely sure how to answer that question. Extraordinarily proud of myself […]
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.” ― Mary Anne Radmacher. This is a quote that has lived on my refrigerator since my 20’s. Currently, it holds up a sweet piece of artwork that my daughter created. More often […]
I feel torn between talking about this amazing list of ‘coping kills’ I put together this week for our upcoming IVF cycle, as well as the paperwork my husband and I had to digest…annnnd the call that my mom made to me this morning where she detailed an event from the middle of the night […]
This weekend, a couple of events happened that knocked the wind out of me. Without going into great depth, our hearts were broken after receiving a difficult letter in the mail from a family member who’s belief system prompted a desire to express concern and question our morals in deciding to grow our family through […]
This was the beginning of a conversation with my encouraging husband when I declared to him that I wanted to write about our infertility journey. We both agreed, ‘Go for it!’…but our reservations were shared. He laughed when I asked this question of him because truly, how, HOW, can one talk about suppositories without using […]
Ok, it’s real! We received confirmation today from our insurance that we are ready to go for IVF next month. I knew this authorization would make it feel more real to us and as I sit here during my scheduled and oh-so-sacred writing time, I am overcome with excitement and nostalgia for our infertility journey. […]
It’s Monday and I’ve dropped our daughter off at her pre-school and I have some time alone to consider the weekend and the week ahead. I’m drinking my decaf coffee with a splash of almond milk and I am overcome with the realization that I feel content. I am not used to this feeling. I […]
I’m back! Not just online here, but really back. Back in the fight! I can feel myself grasping some hope and making some plans and wanting to thrive, not just survive this period of my life. Theoretically, I am 6 weeks away from beginning the intense process of IVF in order to grow our family. […]
Today is my birthday. I am 34 years old. I have decided to ride the feelings of vulnerability and courage that surround me today and make this my first official post. I have been writing for months and struggling with the decision over whether to publish anything. I no longer feel like I can let […]
"Be brave. Without bravery, you will never know the world as it longs to be known. Without bravery your life will remain small - far smaller than you probably wanted your life to be."
-Elizabeth Gilbert
'One thing you can't do if you want to be LOVED...is HIDE.'
-Glennon Doyle Melton